Luis Hernandez

Ok - so when I was 16 ish I dated this guy named Luis Hernandez.  We worked together at the SoL.  Anyway, Luis liked me more than I liked him and I didn't treat him very nicely.  I always said to myself that if I ever ran into him on the train or in the street I would apologize for being the heffa I was.  However, I have not run into him nor can I find him on FB...let's face it - this isn't an uncommon name.

So, with that said, I am posting on my blog a message to Luis Hernandez who worked at the SoL, lived in Brooklyn (I think Bay Ridge - I remember the L train), was tall and had light eyes.  He probably graduated in 1988/89 as he was a year or 2 younger than me (can you be a cougar at the age of 16?).  He had a younger sister and use to hang out with a guy named Eric who also worked with us.

Dear Luis:

I am sorry that I was a bitch.  You didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated you.  I know we were young but I often think of what I would have done differently. You were a nice guy.  I hope life has been good to you and your family.

Solicitation.

"So, Miss/Mr. [insert name here] - can I put you down for a SMALL contribution of $50.

First of all there is nothing small about a $50.  That is at least 2 rounds of drinks for me and my girls during happy hour.

I, as much as everyone else, understand that times are hard.  The holidays are coming and there are so many people and children that will go without.  With that said, I suggest you make sure your organization is a damn good one before you call me and ask for money.  In fact don't bother - I will donate where I deem fit which will not include: the bus, the train, any street corner, in front of Rite Aid while you are opening the door or a telephone call from someone who acts like they have known me for years yet can't pronounce my name.

20

I think 20 is a nice number.  It is a nice age, looks good when you receive one in a card and even is a good quantity to have of something....and when I say something I mean things like shoes or purses NOT KIDS.  Are you serious?  I swear that after 4 kids (I only have 2 personally) if my husband would have so much as looked at me with a spark in his eye those very eyes would be served to him on a platter.  I mean after 6 kids how are you not carrying around your uterus in a back pack or pushing it in a shopping cart.  Is it even normal for married couples to have sex that many times?

 Bob Duggar's sperm should request overtime pay and may even have a unfair labor practice case against him.  As far as Michelle Duggar's eggs go...might I recommend non dairy.