Royal Wedding
My thoughts.
1. I didn't know they had a crazy hat fettish over thur.
2. I hope one of the little girls in the wedding party grows into her forehead and that puberty does her well.
3. Kate and her dress looked really pretty.
4. Prince William is balding.
5. Finally - I hope he treats her better than his dad did his mom.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Ugly Ish!
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| Everyone needs some Hoove Heels. |
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| I will pay $ to see a bish walk in these (p.s. - check out toe nail) |
Monday, April 25, 2011
Are you F N kidding?
Copyright 2011 Associated Press
All Rights Reserved
The Associated Press
April 25, 2011 Monday 05:57 PM GMT
SECTION: INTERNATIONAL NEWS
LENGTH: 1269 words
HEADLINE: Taliban tunnel more than 480 out of Afghan prison
BYLINE: By MIRWAIS KHAN and HEIDI VOGT, Associated Press
DATELINE: KANDAHAR, Afghanistan
BODY:
During the long Afghan winter, Taliban insurgents were apparently busy underground.
The militants say they spent more than five months building a 1,050-foot tunnel to the main prison in southern Afghanistan, bypassing government checkpoints, watch towers and concrete barriers topped with razor wire.
The diggers finally poked through Sunday and spent 4 1/2 hours ferrying away more than 480 inmates without a shot being fired, according to the Taliban and Afghan officials. Most of the prisoners were Taliban militants.
Accounts of the extraordinary prison break, carried out in the dead of night, suggest collusion with prison guards, officials or both.
Following a recent wave of assassinations here, the breakout underscores the weakness of the Afghan government in the south despite an influx of international troops, funding and advisers. It also highlights the spirit and resourcefulness of the Taliban despite months of battlefield setbacks.
Officials at Sarposa prison in Kandahar city, the one-time Taliban capital, say they discovered the breach at about 4 a.m. Monday, a half-hour after the Taliban say they had gotten all the prisoners safely to a house at the other end of the tunnel......
Who the hell was guarding these people, the cop from Family Matters? Over 400 escaped!!! What a f n joke.
All Rights Reserved
The Associated Press
April 25, 2011 Monday 05:57 PM GMT
SECTION: INTERNATIONAL NEWS
LENGTH: 1269 words
HEADLINE: Taliban tunnel more than 480 out of Afghan prison
BYLINE: By MIRWAIS KHAN and HEIDI VOGT, Associated Press
DATELINE: KANDAHAR, Afghanistan
BODY:
During the long Afghan winter, Taliban insurgents were apparently busy underground.
The militants say they spent more than five months building a 1,050-foot tunnel to the main prison in southern Afghanistan, bypassing government checkpoints, watch towers and concrete barriers topped with razor wire.
The diggers finally poked through Sunday and spent 4 1/2 hours ferrying away more than 480 inmates without a shot being fired, according to the Taliban and Afghan officials. Most of the prisoners were Taliban militants.
Accounts of the extraordinary prison break, carried out in the dead of night, suggest collusion with prison guards, officials or both.
Following a recent wave of assassinations here, the breakout underscores the weakness of the Afghan government in the south despite an influx of international troops, funding and advisers. It also highlights the spirit and resourcefulness of the Taliban despite months of battlefield setbacks.
Officials at Sarposa prison in Kandahar city, the one-time Taliban capital, say they discovered the breach at about 4 a.m. Monday, a half-hour after the Taliban say they had gotten all the prisoners safely to a house at the other end of the tunnel......
Who the hell was guarding these people, the cop from Family Matters? Over 400 escaped!!! What a f n joke.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter Sunday....
I asked my 12 yr old son to walk the dog. Tell me WHY did this child throw I tantrum like I asked him to let the Roman's crucify him? SMH. These kids have an unreal sense of entitlement. Now please excuse me while I think of ways to make him miserable.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
They gonna find you....
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Kevin Antoine Dodson, star of a viral Internet song warning neighbors to watch out for a sexual predator, was arrested and charged with marijuana possession after being stopped for speeding, police said on Saturday.
Dodson was charged with second degree marijuana possession, speeding, failure to have liability insurance and other minor charges after police stopped him early Saturday in Huntsville, Huntsville Police spokesman Dr. Harry Hobbs told Reuters.
He was released later on Saturday after posting a $1,340 cash bond, Hobbs said.
"Let me be the first to tell it!!" Dodson tweeted to his 33,000 Twitter followers after his release. "So just got out of jail off a weak charge ... Got pulled over in my Benz and they got me ... I never been in jail except that time in grade school. You remember!!!"
Why is Antoine driving a Benz with no insurance when he can post $1,340 cash bond?
Dodson was charged with second degree marijuana possession, speeding, failure to have liability insurance and other minor charges after police stopped him early Saturday in Huntsville, Huntsville Police spokesman Dr. Harry Hobbs told Reuters.
He was released later on Saturday after posting a $1,340 cash bond, Hobbs said.
"Let me be the first to tell it!!" Dodson tweeted to his 33,000 Twitter followers after his release. "So just got out of jail off a weak charge ... Got pulled over in my Benz and they got me ... I never been in jail except that time in grade school. You remember!!!"
Why is Antoine driving a Benz with no insurance when he can post $1,340 cash bond?
Friday, April 22, 2011
Intricacies of Science
The only thing I remember from science class is that steam rises.......with that said....might I suggest that you not pass gas while taking a hot shower.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
-_-
Now I have mixed feeling about this article I saw in the paper yesterday.....
"A 102-year-old Japanese man killed himself yesterday because he was being forced to leave his home in a newly declared danger zone around the crippled Fukushima nuclear plant.
The man was the oldest resident of Litate village — 24 miles from the plant and considered safe until the no-go zone was expanded this week — and his family was ordered to evacuate, the Jiji Press news agency said. He was “depressed at the idea that he would have to leave his place,” the report said."
Bendito, the man survived the earthquake, tsunami and if my math is on point (which is questionable) Hiroshima and Nagasaki and yet he killed himself because he was going to have to leave his place....Dude come on how much more time did you think you had? Stick it out. Personally I would have been placing bets on myself to see if I made it to 105. At the same time I know many elderly are set in their ways about things (which I will confirm when I get to that point) and let's face it - no one welcomes change in life comfortably.
"A 102-year-old Japanese man killed himself yesterday because he was being forced to leave his home in a newly declared danger zone around the crippled Fukushima nuclear plant.
The man was the oldest resident of Litate village — 24 miles from the plant and considered safe until the no-go zone was expanded this week — and his family was ordered to evacuate, the Jiji Press news agency said. He was “depressed at the idea that he would have to leave his place,” the report said."
Bendito, the man survived the earthquake, tsunami and if my math is on point (which is questionable) Hiroshima and Nagasaki and yet he killed himself because he was going to have to leave his place....Dude come on how much more time did you think you had? Stick it out. Personally I would have been placing bets on myself to see if I made it to 105. At the same time I know many elderly are set in their ways about things (which I will confirm when I get to that point) and let's face it - no one welcomes change in life comfortably.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Random Ish
Don't tell me the morning of, that you have a trip and need a home lunch, just grab the jar of peanut butter, a spoon and can of Vienna sausage. Next time give me some notice.
There was a time that I was meticulous about laundry. Now I don't even bother to separate the clothes. In fact my kids are lucky I just don't spray them with Febreeze on their way out the door.
If you say I look like I am gaining weight you are definitely asking for the F bomb -- chances are if you notice, so do I.
Men please note when trying to get a lady's attention: "What's happening hot stuff" does not constitute a hello and licking your dry ashy lips does not constitute a smile. PS: make sure you have at least 8 teeth in your mouth if you smile.
Thank God I was taught to respect my elders otherwise I would have just kicked the cane out from under that dusty old fossil.
Every morning my dog follows me around like I owe him money. I am pretty sure I don't.
Job Posting: Full-time position available for a person to take my place and argue with my kids - must have ability to bring up the past and throw it in their face on short notice. Guilt manipulation skills a plus. Will pay in grilled cheese sandwiches.
My son just asked me when I thought I might be able to give him $200? For what, you ask? A belt, but not just any belt. A "WWE title belt." Oh yeah, that makes a difference. Might I suggest you make your own out of recycled cans.
The apple does not fall far from the tree indeed. My son told me that Mother's Day is just a day that moms take advantage of their kids. I replied, "Baby that isn't true - now hurry and finish those dishes because the laundry is waiting."
Just witnessed a crime being committed to a pair of Spandex. Damn girl, what were you thinking when you shoved your butt in there?
Sneakers...keys...cell phone....homework.....socks..... What are things your kids can't find in the morning?
I could not wait to get out from under my parent's roof. Having a curfew was the worst. Why didn't anyone tell me that when you have kids they would also be monitoring your whereabouts by calling 6 times in an hour to ask questions, like, Where is the extra roll of toilet paper? Is Colgate the only toothpaste we have? or Why is the milk on the wrong shelf?
Sometimes I wonder if when my kids say "Mom, I told you about this like 50 times, I have been speaking about it all week." They are just messing with my head - or I am doing too good a job at tuning them out.
I love it when my kids offer suggestions on what to do with my money..... "We should get a new PC," or, "Why don't we get HBO." Note the WE pattern. How about WE get jobs.
The change guy in front of the bank asked if I "had anything for him" (as he tried to block my exit).... uh, yeah, advice, you ass - don't ask me for money especially when you are dressed better than me.
There is only so much control I have as to where my dog pees. I try to avoid nice rims, new bikes, helmets, and pretty flowers, but damn, now bushes have advocates from the piss patrol?
I never claimed or insinuated I was perfect, so if u think that, you came to that conclusion on your own. My only claim is that my crap doesn't stink.
Finding matching socks has become the bane of my existence.
I am just saying, hypothetically of course, that IF a collection agency is going to call you 5 times a day they should probably pronounce your name correctly.
Every New Year one of my resolutions is to stop swearing. Today I have come to the realization that as long as: 1. my kids live with me; 2. I have to take public transportation and 3. annoying people exist, I might as well cross that $#%* off my list.
Procrastination is best used when applied to doing laundry....
There was a time that I was meticulous about laundry. Now I don't even bother to separate the clothes. In fact my kids are lucky I just don't spray them with Febreeze on their way out the door.
If you say I look like I am gaining weight you are definitely asking for the F bomb -- chances are if you notice, so do I.
Men please note when trying to get a lady's attention: "What's happening hot stuff" does not constitute a hello and licking your dry ashy lips does not constitute a smile. PS: make sure you have at least 8 teeth in your mouth if you smile.
Thank God I was taught to respect my elders otherwise I would have just kicked the cane out from under that dusty old fossil.
Every morning my dog follows me around like I owe him money. I am pretty sure I don't.
Job Posting: Full-time position available for a person to take my place and argue with my kids - must have ability to bring up the past and throw it in their face on short notice. Guilt manipulation skills a plus. Will pay in grilled cheese sandwiches.
My son just asked me when I thought I might be able to give him $200? For what, you ask? A belt, but not just any belt. A "WWE title belt." Oh yeah, that makes a difference. Might I suggest you make your own out of recycled cans.
The apple does not fall far from the tree indeed. My son told me that Mother's Day is just a day that moms take advantage of their kids. I replied, "Baby that isn't true - now hurry and finish those dishes because the laundry is waiting."
Just witnessed a crime being committed to a pair of Spandex. Damn girl, what were you thinking when you shoved your butt in there?
Sneakers...keys...cell phone....homework.....socks..... What are things your kids can't find in the morning?
I could not wait to get out from under my parent's roof. Having a curfew was the worst. Why didn't anyone tell me that when you have kids they would also be monitoring your whereabouts by calling 6 times in an hour to ask questions, like, Where is the extra roll of toilet paper? Is Colgate the only toothpaste we have? or Why is the milk on the wrong shelf?
Sometimes I wonder if when my kids say "Mom, I told you about this like 50 times, I have been speaking about it all week." They are just messing with my head - or I am doing too good a job at tuning them out.
I love it when my kids offer suggestions on what to do with my money..... "We should get a new PC," or, "Why don't we get HBO." Note the WE pattern. How about WE get jobs.
The change guy in front of the bank asked if I "had anything for him" (as he tried to block my exit).... uh, yeah, advice, you ass - don't ask me for money especially when you are dressed better than me.
There is only so much control I have as to where my dog pees. I try to avoid nice rims, new bikes, helmets, and pretty flowers, but damn, now bushes have advocates from the piss patrol?
I never claimed or insinuated I was perfect, so if u think that, you came to that conclusion on your own. My only claim is that my crap doesn't stink.
Finding matching socks has become the bane of my existence.
I am just saying, hypothetically of course, that IF a collection agency is going to call you 5 times a day they should probably pronounce your name correctly.
Every New Year one of my resolutions is to stop swearing. Today I have come to the realization that as long as: 1. my kids live with me; 2. I have to take public transportation and 3. annoying people exist, I might as well cross that $#%* off my list.
Procrastination is best used when applied to doing laundry....
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Ode to [insert name here].....
If I were a bird....I would fly over the night sky and wish on the stars . I would glide over the lights of the city and if I saw you I would crap on your head...twice.
So not happening...
I am really flattered that people think I am a medium, but I am so not fitting into it. On that note let me give props to Old Navy for really securing the buttons on their jeans - otherwise someone might lose an eye.
The low-rise....
What is the point of the low-rise pant? Nobody wants to see the crack of an ass no matter how fine it is....make no mistake...I didn't say they didn't want to see your entire booty, just not the crack or the top 2 inches of the crack. Low-rise was invented by plumbers who were tired of being teased.
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