"Can we talk as friends?"

'Hi, can we talk as friends?"......Ummmm - you call when you need, you disappear, you dropped every responsibility you had as a dad on my lap, and whenever I need to speak to you about something offspring related you are nowhere to be found.....no you ass (and I am really refraining) we can not talk as friends.  We can talk as 2 people who have kids together that we both love (although the way we show our love for our kids is obviously different) and therefore I will be mature (well semi mature).....but no we can not talk as friends and for future reference DON'T start a conversation with me using that sentence.  I take my friendships seriously.