I am a...

Thinker...Now this can be both a positive (although I have yet to have a concrete example of this) and a negative.  Being a thinker means I think about every action, choice, decision or plan I make - being a thinker should not be confused with being intelligent (although I am not completely dence). When I say I think about everything I mean I pick it apart to its smallest possible molecule; analyze effect and consequence.

Example: Who will this decision effect? How will this decision make a particular person feel? What will people say?  What will people do? Will I be abandoned by people I care about because I made this choice?  Am I making this choice for myself or based on how someone else will feel?

I have discovered over the years is that this doesn't really serve a purpose for me and find it ironic that many of the people whose thoughts and feelings I consider do not contribute to my life as a whole.
 

There is a saying that analyzing is paralyzing and I tend to agree because often I am just unable to come to a clear conclusion or decision. I am afflicted by this character defect called caring too damn much what others think. I often wish I can just throw caution to the wind (and on a rare occasion I may) but mostly I think.


I feel emotions to my very core - as deeply as they can go whether it is happiness, anger, insecurity, hurt, sadness or any other numerous feelings.  I realize that this is why I think.  If I don't think I will feel and I can't under any circumstance allow my feelings to dictate my actions without some thought.  I am extremely empathetic and often consider the feelings of others to a fault.

I am a thinker; a work in progress and I am ok with that.