Oh hell no to suicide...

I was reading an article about a 60 year old veteran sky diver who unhooked his parachute and committed suicide.  Why the fuck would someone do that?  If I am killing myself it is because life is hard and I don't want to deal with it....I am going for the easy way out - Carbon Monoxide.  I am not jumping out a plane, train or off a building...if it ever comes out in the news that this was how I passed I was pushed - and you can best believe my shoes (and my ass for that matter) left skid marks.

I am not blowing my head off because shit I am pretty.
I am not slicing any part of myself because I am chunky and I will be there all day cutting, plus it would be a bitch to clean and I am considerate of other people like that.
There will be no hanging from my closet - especially with no clothes on - I don't want any part of my flab hanging, it is dark in there and blue isn't my color.
Pouring gas on and setting myself a blaze is out of the fucking question (I don't even like when I fart).

Bottom line - this bitch is not taking her own life.