What I have learned in 2011...
1. If you eat a lot you will gain weight.
2. Brushing your teeth does not necessarily mean you have fresh breath...use floss.
3. Bailey's is good all year round.
4. Stop blaming everything around you for your circumstances and be accountable for your shit.
5. It isn't that you don't know what you have until it is gone - it is that you never thought you would lose it (this doesn't apply to weight).
6. You are better than you give yourself credit for.
7. There are too many banks and not enough money.
8. Assholes and stupidity walk among us.
9. Sometimes it is better not to say anything (I have not yet mastered this).
10. Fat and ugly are not one word and don't go together nor do skinny and beautiful.
11. Music invigorates the soul.
12. Groupon.com is great.
13. There are some things that will never be forgotten (unless Alzheimer sets in).
14. Bitterness makes you ugly inside.
15. Soda is mentally addictive.
16. My friends and family are the best.
17. Listen to your instinct - it is there for a purpose.
18. Pay attention to what is going on in the world around you (no matter how depressing - this is something I really need to get working on).
19. Just because you think it is urgent doesn't mean it is.
20. Amazing people surround you - take notice.
Happy New Year!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Random Ish & Other Nonsense - The Book
is due to be released at the beginning of 2012. Like my Facebook page below for up to date information.
Random-Ish-Other-Nonsense Facebook Page
Thank you for your support.
Random-Ish-Other-Nonsense Facebook Page
Thank you for your support.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Let the count down begin!!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
I am utterly disgusted with the amount of cuts the Department of Education & Mayor has made to NYC Public Schools across the board over the 5 boroughs. They grade teachers and students and yet continue to cut funding, expecting parents of low-middle income to carry the schools.
Every PTA meeting I attend has fund raising at the foreground - silent auction, bake sale, cookie swap, dollar drive, rummage, etc....At a PTA meeting I attended last night we actually applauded because someone donated a box of paper to the schools covered in our district. That is some bullshit. The DOE might as well have our educators drawing math problems on the dirt outside with a stick.
ATTENTION DOE & POWERS THAT BE - FIND ANOTHER WAY TO BALANCE YOUR BUDGET!
Every damn year for the past I don't even know how many years the budget goes down at the very least another $20,000. I am figuring the DOE is currently giving each school $32.50 for the entire school year.
STOP IT ALREADY! Parents - it is time to make some noise and not accept these cuts as an option. The wheels are turning so stay tuned.
Every PTA meeting I attend has fund raising at the foreground - silent auction, bake sale, cookie swap, dollar drive, rummage, etc....At a PTA meeting I attended last night we actually applauded because someone donated a box of paper to the schools covered in our district. That is some bullshit. The DOE might as well have our educators drawing math problems on the dirt outside with a stick.
ATTENTION DOE & POWERS THAT BE - FIND ANOTHER WAY TO BALANCE YOUR BUDGET!
Every damn year for the past I don't even know how many years the budget goes down at the very least another $20,000. I am figuring the DOE is currently giving each school $32.50 for the entire school year.
STOP IT ALREADY! Parents - it is time to make some noise and not accept these cuts as an option. The wheels are turning so stay tuned.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Hi folks!
Been a little busy this month and haven't had any brilliant thoughts to write about - as if all my other post are brilliant - smh...I digress. I was hoping to have Random Ish & Other Nonsense out by Christmas but it looks like it will be in January (fingers crossed).
I have had a blessed year and I am very fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. I want to thank you for dropping in on my blog and reading my posts and truly hope that it has brought some laughter into your life.
I want to wish all of you and your families a wonderful holiday season! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it and Season's Greetings for those who don't. Remember to pick and choose your battles and make sure they are worth fighting for. May your family and loved ones be blessed and may the ones who are no longer on earth stay alive in your hearts and continue to watch over you and give your strength.
I can't take credit for this pic but I loved it so I wanted to share.
See you next year.
Been a little busy this month and haven't had any brilliant thoughts to write about - as if all my other post are brilliant - smh...I digress. I was hoping to have Random Ish & Other Nonsense out by Christmas but it looks like it will be in January (fingers crossed).
I have had a blessed year and I am very fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. I want to thank you for dropping in on my blog and reading my posts and truly hope that it has brought some laughter into your life.
I want to wish all of you and your families a wonderful holiday season! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it and Season's Greetings for those who don't. Remember to pick and choose your battles and make sure they are worth fighting for. May your family and loved ones be blessed and may the ones who are no longer on earth stay alive in your hearts and continue to watch over you and give your strength.
I can't take credit for this pic but I loved it so I wanted to share.
See you next year.
Friday, December 2, 2011
This is some F N Crazy ISH!
This is some serious BS
It would be death by stoning for me but I am taking some of the F'krs down with me.
It would be death by stoning for me but I am taking some of the F'krs down with me.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Luis Hernandez
Ok - so when I was 16 ish I dated this guy named Luis Hernandez. We worked together at the SoL. Anyway, Luis liked me more than I liked him and I didn't treat him very nicely. I always said to myself that if I ever ran into him on the train or in the street I would apologize for being the heffa I was. However, I have not run into him nor can I find him on FB...let's face it - this isn't an uncommon name.
So, with that said, I am posting on my blog a message to Luis Hernandez who worked at the SoL, lived in Brooklyn (I think Bay Ridge - I remember the L train), was tall and had light eyes. He probably graduated in 1988/89 as he was a year or 2 younger than me (can you be a cougar at the age of 16?). He had a younger sister and use to hang out with a guy named Eric who also worked with us.
Dear Luis:
I am sorry that I was a bitch. You didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. I know we were young but I often think of what I would have done differently. You were a nice guy. I hope life has been good to you and your family.
So, with that said, I am posting on my blog a message to Luis Hernandez who worked at the SoL, lived in Brooklyn (I think Bay Ridge - I remember the L train), was tall and had light eyes. He probably graduated in 1988/89 as he was a year or 2 younger than me (can you be a cougar at the age of 16?). He had a younger sister and use to hang out with a guy named Eric who also worked with us.
Dear Luis:
I am sorry that I was a bitch. You didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. I know we were young but I often think of what I would have done differently. You were a nice guy. I hope life has been good to you and your family.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Solicitation.
"So, Miss/Mr. [insert name here] - can I put you down for a SMALL contribution of $50.
First of all there is nothing small about a $50. That is at least 2 rounds of drinks for me and my girls during happy hour.
I, as much as everyone else, understand that times are hard. The holidays are coming and there are so many people and children that will go without. With that said, I suggest you make sure your organization is a damn good one before you call me and ask for money. In fact don't bother - I will donate where I deem fit which will not include: the bus, the train, any street corner, in front of Rite Aid while you are opening the door or a telephone call from someone who acts like they have known me for years yet can't pronounce my name.
First of all there is nothing small about a $50. That is at least 2 rounds of drinks for me and my girls during happy hour.
I, as much as everyone else, understand that times are hard. The holidays are coming and there are so many people and children that will go without. With that said, I suggest you make sure your organization is a damn good one before you call me and ask for money. In fact don't bother - I will donate where I deem fit which will not include: the bus, the train, any street corner, in front of Rite Aid while you are opening the door or a telephone call from someone who acts like they have known me for years yet can't pronounce my name.
Friday, November 11, 2011
20
I think 20 is a nice number. It is a nice age, looks good when you receive one in a card and even is a good quantity to have of something....and when I say something I mean things like shoes or purses NOT KIDS. Are you serious? I swear that after 4 kids (I only have 2 personally) if my husband would have so much as looked at me with a spark in his eye those very eyes would be served to him on a platter. I mean after 6 kids how are you not carrying around your uterus in a back pack or pushing it in a shopping cart. Is it even normal for married couples to have sex that many times?
Bob Duggar's sperm should request overtime pay and may even have a unfair labor practice case against him. As far as Michelle Duggar's eggs go...might I recommend non dairy.
Bob Duggar's sperm should request overtime pay and may even have a unfair labor practice case against him. As far as Michelle Duggar's eggs go...might I recommend non dairy.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Can you cook?
Why would a guy ask a girl he is trying to hook up with "can you cook?"
What does that have to do with the price of milk? Whether I can or can't is irrelevant because if we go out we are going to a restaurant. You just shot to shit any chance you had of me even offering to make you a bowl of cereal. Get the F out of here with that BS neanderthal caveman way. The question is "can you give me 3 O's while fixing the sink and painting the kitchen?" That's right - multi task.
What does that have to do with the price of milk? Whether I can or can't is irrelevant because if we go out we are going to a restaurant. You just shot to shit any chance you had of me even offering to make you a bowl of cereal. Get the F out of here with that BS neanderthal caveman way. The question is "can you give me 3 O's while fixing the sink and painting the kitchen?" That's right - multi task.
Text Break Up...
In my opinion there is nothing wrong with going out on a date, waiting to get home and then texting the person (providing you have exchanged numbers) and saying "um, I had a nice time BUT I am not feeling you."
Unless you have been in a relationship for over a year actually living together (long distance or seeing each other once a week doesn't count UNLESS you are in the military or being detained for "alleged" illegal activity) or you have kids together (that you see or speak to on a regular - if your ass is in DR and your wife and kids have been in New York for over 6 months it is not considered together, I don't care what the certificate says) there is nothing wrong with getting a text break up. For those who say it is the cowards way out I say this. "Who cares?" The message needed to get delivered - whether through text, e-mail, blimp across the sky, poster board or a tattoo on my ass - I am not feeling you OR it is over - done.
Unless you have been in a relationship for over a year actually living together (long distance or seeing each other once a week doesn't count UNLESS you are in the military or being detained for "alleged" illegal activity) or you have kids together (that you see or speak to on a regular - if your ass is in DR and your wife and kids have been in New York for over 6 months it is not considered together, I don't care what the certificate says) there is nothing wrong with getting a text break up. For those who say it is the cowards way out I say this. "Who cares?" The message needed to get delivered - whether through text, e-mail, blimp across the sky, poster board or a tattoo on my ass - I am not feeling you OR it is over - done.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
McNuggets please.
Only in New York can you be approached in McDonalds by a begging vagrant - you offer him a cheeseburger and mother fucker tells you he wants nuggets.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Infidelity
The majority of the population is always doing something to improve their health & beauty. I myself stress all the time about my weight and how I look. In any case - if people as beautiful and successful as Demi Moore and Halle Berry get cheated on all I can say is this - "pass the fucking donuts!"
Monday, September 26, 2011
It is called a boat!
MIAMI (AP) — "Endurance athlete Diana Nyad ended her swimming ultramarathon from Cuba to Florida on Sunday after medics warned another painful sting from a Portuguese Man o' War could be life threatening, Nyad team members said.
Nyad was very swollen from multiple stings to her face and body, said Vanessa Linsley, who worked on Nyad's team...
...The 62-year-old swimmer had completed at least 49 miles (79 kilometers) of the 103-mile (166-kilometer) passage of the treacherous Florida Straits. She soldiered through the stings, at one point cutting eye and mouth holes through a swim cap she wore over her face to prevent future stings...
...But around 11:30 a.m., medics warned toxins from the stings were building up and another sting could be serious, Linsley said."
My question is this? Why would you want to swim that distance - chance sharks, jelly fish, orca - whatever else is lurking in the ocean when you can take a fucking boat?
Nyad was very swollen from multiple stings to her face and body, said Vanessa Linsley, who worked on Nyad's team...
...The 62-year-old swimmer had completed at least 49 miles (79 kilometers) of the 103-mile (166-kilometer) passage of the treacherous Florida Straits. She soldiered through the stings, at one point cutting eye and mouth holes through a swim cap she wore over her face to prevent future stings...
...But around 11:30 a.m., medics warned toxins from the stings were building up and another sting could be serious, Linsley said."
My question is this? Why would you want to swim that distance - chance sharks, jelly fish, orca - whatever else is lurking in the ocean when you can take a fucking boat?
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Oh hell no to suicide...
I was reading an article about a 60 year old veteran sky diver who unhooked his parachute and committed suicide. Why the fuck would someone do that? If I am killing myself it is because life is hard and I don't want to deal with it....I am going for the easy way out - Carbon Monoxide. I am not jumping out a plane, train or off a building...if it ever comes out in the news that this was how I passed I was pushed - and you can best believe my shoes (and my ass for that matter) left skid marks.
I am not blowing my head off because shit I am pretty.
I am not slicing any part of myself because I am chunky and I will be there all day cutting, plus it would be a bitch to clean and I am considerate of other people like that.
There will be no hanging from my closet - especially with no clothes on - I don't want any part of my flab hanging, it is dark in there and blue isn't my color.
Pouring gas on and setting myself a blaze is out of the fucking question (I don't even like when I fart).
Bottom line - this bitch is not taking her own life.
I am not blowing my head off because shit I am pretty.
I am not slicing any part of myself because I am chunky and I will be there all day cutting, plus it would be a bitch to clean and I am considerate of other people like that.
There will be no hanging from my closet - especially with no clothes on - I don't want any part of my flab hanging, it is dark in there and blue isn't my color.
Pouring gas on and setting myself a blaze is out of the fucking question (I don't even like when I fart).
Bottom line - this bitch is not taking her own life.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
One of those mornings...
No NYC commute is complete without a horse whip. I am going on Amazon and ordering mine now.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Random Ish the Book
After much encouragement, proofing and revisions Random Ish & Other Nonsense is closer to being finalized and put into publication. Be on the look out...
Random Ish & Other Nonsense
Random Ish & Other Nonsense
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