Just because.....

Just because....

you don't understand me doesn't mean I'm full of shit.

I don't call you doesn't mean I don't think of you. (just that I don't want to talk to you right now)

I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy. (So don't get cute)

I cry doesn't mean I'm weak. (How bad you want to find out?)

I don't cry doesn't mean I'm not hurt. (Be very concerned in this event).

I love you doesn't mean I will always like you. (and you will usually sense those times)

I let you go doesn't mean I no longer love you. (just that I am tired of being with your selfish, lazy ass)

You are beautiful outside doesn't mean you can't be ugly as all get out inside. (and you need to check yourself)

You have kids doesn't mean you are a parent. (Hellooooo, love them, take care of them, show them you care, laugh with them...they going to pick out the home you get put in to)

You are smart doesn't mean you are right. (so STFU)

Damn...this list can go on for days..

Be straight...

Some times being straight with someone can be difficult. Don't confuse being straight with being mean. Take a little time and choose your words wisely. Get your point across in a direct manner. There is a saying (and I unfortunately can not take credit for it): "Say what you mean, mean what you say but don't say it mean."

I am surprised the earth hasn't split in 2 with all the bullshit being laid on top of it.

Hanging ish....

Damn you the piece of hanging shit from my dog's ass...

Stupid Questions...

There is indeed such a thing as stupid questions and I know people who ask them frequently.

Sissyism - Thoughts

Our thougths can be our biggest downfall.

Sissyism - check your ish...

Look at the part you played in every situation...blame, shame and cry foul all you want but make sure you check your role in it, no matter how small, because you most likely have one.

Trust...

Trusting others can be difficult.  Trusting yourself essential.  Deep down you know what you need to do you just have to find the courage and strength to do it.  When you are ready you will move forward until then sit on the fence if you need to but be aware of what surrounds you. It is ok to be afraid of making a mistake - it is not ok to let that fear control your decisions and actions.  Take the chance. Trust yourself.

It is hot.....really really hot.....

so here are some tips:

Wearing a short skirt, when your thighs (which are the size of 2 pernils) are rubbing together so tightly they are whispering "add sazon," is really not encourgaged. (you had to see it to believe it).

Go extra hard on the deodorant and throw some on your back while you at it.

Brush your teeth, chew gum or do both because hot air and hot breath mixed travel a further distance.

Don't let any part of your sweaty body (or the forehead of your sweaty child) touch another human being while commuting.

Don't say to people "look at how much I am sweating"....we don't give a shit, we are hot also.

If need be shoving an ice cube between your ass crack, in your bra or under your sack is totally acceptable.

Sissyism

Humble pie tastes horrible but it is good for the digestive system.

Sissyism

"Learn who you are before you become what others want."

Sissyism

I was unable to find a Friday Pet worthy video, so I will substitute with a Sissyism...

"During those times in life where you can't seem to let go...turn to your loved ones so they can smack that shit out your hands."

Friday Pet - Breed issues.

WTF kind of nasty ish is this?

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. - A Minnesota woman accused of concealing a stolen mink coat in her underwear for three days pleaded guilty to a theft charge. Bloomington police said Stephanie Moreland, 46, was arrested on a felony theft charge on New Year's Eve after employees at the Alaska Fur Company accused her of stealing the short mink coat, valued at $6,500, WCCO-TV, Minneapolis, reported Wednesday. A sales associate at the store took down Moreland's license plate number and police located the woman and her car a short time later, but the only sign of the coat was an empty hanger, police said. Moreland was booked into jail and she admitted three days later to having stolen the coat, but she claimed it had already been sold. However, when told she would be taken to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, Moreland lifted up her dress and revealed the coat had been shoved into her underwear. "She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front," Bloomington Police Cmdr. Mark Stehlik said. Moreland pleaded guilty to the theft charge Monday and is due to be sentenced Aug. 8.

Oh HELL No...Death at a Funeral

This is some bullshit and why I want to be creamated.  My luck I will sleep right through the procession and open my eyes when I am already underground.  Fuck that.  Burn me and if I was alive I am a done deal.

A confident man.

There is something about man with confidence that is very appealing.  A man that is willing to approach a woman and let her know he is interested. HOWEVER, your confidence isn't worth a damn if:

you are driving a Benz but you are 87 and hooked up to an oxygen machine (unless you have your bank statement on hand - but let's face it if you were rich you would have a driver);

you are driving in a green Nova, have to sit on a phonebook to see out the front windshield - and are most likely not a citizen;

you are sitting on a milk crate in front of the corner store with a dixie cup filled with beer;

you wear socks with your mandals (you are narrowing your chances with the mandals alone);

you have a big peepee stain on your pants;

you smell like dirty ass;

your breath can kill a mocking bird;

you have no teeth...I know I always come back to this but with dental technology you should have a few;

you have a comb over (worse if it is a windy day);

you spit when you talk...a lot (also bad on a windy day);

Did I miss any?

Friday Pet - Take the F N paper.

What I remember about Kindergarten......

The scissors didn't cut.
The paste didn't stick but smelled like shit.
On Nor was a bitch.
The teacher played the piano and we sang about a black bird going through someones window (that's  racist).
The biggest blocks EVER.
The smell of crayons.
The teacher's were short (well Ms. Goodman and Ms. Unterberger sure were).
The caps for our promotion ceremony were made out of construction paper - and my mother the hairstylist decided to put my hair in a beehive - good looking out mom.
Mr. Thau liked jackets with plaid and had a 2 finger fetish but the best comb over I ever saw.
The world was a scary place.....I guess some things don't change.

A Poem for Dad (Submitted by Cory)

Dad! What can I say?

You’re a father, and today is your day!

How will you spend it? Let us see!

With none other than Dineen, Sissy and me!

Not fishing, not reading, or taking in sun.

But dining with three daughters. Now that sounds like fun!

We shall talk about what a great father you are.

How you’re one of the greatest dads, by far.

With your Mathis, Bensons, and Strand book,

Your cabana shirts and a wife who don’t cook.

With your trusty mini-van that goes vroom,

And a Papi that never leaves his room.

With your right side of the bed, and those Jets.

Your missing mustache. How about those Mets?

With your Fox News, and your republican ways.

Daily calls to Emily to discuss your days.

Happy father’s day dad! You are the best.

None of us are strippers or in jail, so you’ve passed the test!

Oh, you’ll say whose your fav, but I know it’s a lie.

It’s okay, I know the truth. It’s me … Semper Fi.

Friday Pet - OMG Cat

Friday Pet - Denver did it.